...help.

Things haven't been going so good at all. Yesterday i went to see my x just to see how her and her family were doing and everything was pretty cool, well she was being awkward. I didn't care though cuz i was having fun. We didn't really get to talk much...so at night i decided to call her. Things were going good till the past was brought up, then things really go heated and emotional. I was not good...this is still a really sensitive subject. I don't know what the hell is going on anymore. I don't even know how i feel...somehow i want her back. I want to be with her. I feel alone.....the sad thing is i don't think she feels the same. I think shes over me and just trying to move on with her life. I just cant understand why she was crying so much?...does she still care?..and if she does than what should I do?, Should I try and put back together what wasn't working?..then if i do, what am i going to do about my best friend Brenda and our prom date? I mean, i really do care about both of them.....I love Cindy, but Brenda was their for me and i don't want to back down from my promise. Haha, damn...this blog is a relieve, Mr. Palo wasn't kiddin:/. Well anyways i don't know why i act like if somebody is actually going to read this, but ooooooohhhhh well.